Monday, January 25, 2021

A Decade of #Jan25

 Today is the 10th anniversary of #Jan25.

10 years ago today, I was alone in NYC, waiting impatiently, 6 hours behind, not knowing what the hell will happen.

Today, I find myself alone as well, but wondering what the hell happened, wondering how is it that even though everything changed, everything has also stayed the same.

10 years ago today, if only for a minute, we imagined we ruled the world. Everything was possible. 

الشعب ركب

The allure of what could be, possibilities of achievements, of change, of a better tomorrow, of living without fear, of retribution, of honor and of a future we deserve is the root of all the pain we have been carrying over the past decade. 

When I go through some of my older blogs and social media posts from 2011-2013, I'm always taken by how much we thought we had influence on decision making. How much we believed in our self worth, to the extent that we imagined we had a say in our country's future. 

I was 22 years old that day, hopeful, in awe of the giant that is the Egyptian people's vigorous spirit and will to change. And I can't even recount the times I've asked myself and other over the past decade, "where did everybody go?" Where are the thousand upon thousands that I had marched with over and over, calling for our right at the top of our lungs? Where are the residents of Tahrir square?

Today, I'm 32 years old, broken, crushed under the weight of the ghost of a revolution's past. The ghost of what could have been. If only!

And sometimes I wonder, should we have fought harder for our dreams? but who are "we"? and who are "we" fighting against? But one thing's for sure, it was never a fair fight.

I am thankful for the memories. 

The memories of a people full of hope and their burning desire to live a good life, longing for a better future for their unborn children, and their unwavering willingness to make their dreams come true, even if it meant paying their own lives as the price. 

But if I'm certain of one thing, it's that our souls have been touched by that dream, and that on that fateful Tuesday, 10 years ago, our lives changed forever. For better or for worse, be it the ones who are no longer with us today and have paid the ultimate price, or the ones withering away in prison for daring to dream, or the ones watching from afar in exile wondering if they can ever come home, or the ones who suffered so much that they had to let go of the dream or the ones forever entangled in this haunting web of euphoric sensations they might never feel again, we all did our best.

عيش، حرية، عدالة إجتماعية

 عيش، حرية، كرامة إنسانية

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